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Stop winking at me

Lately it seems everyone has been sending me these things called emoticons. They are supposed to express how the writer is feeling emotionally when writing.

This irks me on a couple of levels, one: as a writer you should be able to convey your emotion and 2 it says there are only so many emotions you can convey (as emoticons are limited). What BS. My happy face doesn't mean what your happy face does, i can tell you that.

Stop doing this to me. I can't take it. I've really no idea what the wink implys, other then I am running the other way. I don't want to be winked at, smiled at, frowny guy'd at. And don't even get me started about animated emoticons, further constricting your emotions into some kind of bottled mass marketed flavor.

Which brings me to greeting cards. Hate em. haven't bought one in 30 years. If you have one with my name on it, it was probably forged.

No Shoebox writer-hack can convey my emotions better than I can. To think they can takes some cajones in my book. I will tell you what I think, not Hallmark. Will they talk for me at dumb parent functions next? No. So don't let them talk for you.

If I absolutely have to get a card, I'll buy one and repuropse it. Like the get-well card I sent Mom, I bought a Mozeltof! Card and crossed out the words that didn't fit. fantastic.

I'd mke this wordier and funnier if I had the time, but I am off to a parent get together at Reagans school. I'll be the guy in back avoiding small talk...

Comments

Anonymous said…
I can't figure out IM. In some of the soccer e-mails, the eople writing got lazy and wrote those shortened versions of common phrases that you use in IMs, with the result that I didn't understand what the heck they were saying.
2:23 PM
Anonymous said…
LOL ...

(8{|)
3:15 PM
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