Domo Aragato Mr. Roboto,
I wanted to personally thank you for your ingenius Wii game console. I recently purchased one for my family and wanted to provide you with the feedback only the proud Dad of a 5 1/2 year old can give.
#$%$%^%$ you. Let me describe for you the feeling of being beat, no check that, being humiliated by someone 1/15th my weight, a 1/3rd my size, who has no practical real world experience, no debt, no knowledge of physics, trig or geometry and no checking account. I would like to get the home addresses of the genius that made it possible for this diminutive youngster to turn into the world's greatest bowling hammer. I'd toilet paper their houses 366 days a year.
Whoever thought it was a good idea to somehow tilt the game so a post toddler's quirky non-sensical, almost improbable bowling style so handily bests all my efforts should be tied up, drenched in honey and let loose in the Sun Bear exhibit. I've been surfing Wikipedia try to learn tip just to tie my son's pin count.
At the moment, despite practicing into the Wii (haha) hours of the night while the tike sleeps, I am not improving. If anything, it makes him better. Do you have some offending algorithym that takes away from my near perfect toss that allows all the pins to flee for cover has his 1mph ball sails down the lane?
Have you no decency? A grown man crying for a half hour as his son does the end zone dance while he bowls all while throwing perfect strikes is just sad. Sad for Wii. Sad for Mii. I can't take the cocky attitude that the Wii has instilled in my innocent child who is guilty of only not being able to really bowl, except in fantasy Wii land. It is the victory dancing that really gets me deep down inside.
My arms are sore, my hand chafed. I don't know how much more I can give to the Wii bowling game and still return less than 100 pin knock downs. My son, on the flip side, has medals, wins every game and now the phone rings with offers for him to turn pro. It is just a bit much.
We can all be adults here. I'm willing to pay to have a special version of Wii bowling that plays to my strengths: a motion limiting fatty gut; a sore back; perhaps the ability to play from the couch; my degrading vision and some victories to fill in where my pride was once housed. Please send me the game and the bill. My pride and shame have eloped and skipped town.
I'll happily pay to win a few off the kid. Thanks for listening.
Melon
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