Melon vs. the Mormons; Part I (or Part 3 if I decide to make six movies about it, I'll do a prequel! Folks will love it)

So, there I am, enjoying my religious freedom when Ding-dong. I spotted them earlier wandering around my neighborhood, two by two, toting the unmistakable book-size bible. Coming up the stairs to the door, I was ready for an eduction.

I always think I have a good response for them, "Like, hi, I am already a Buddhist, so please shuffle along as you are not on my plane.". Or "I am a Crusades man myself, think we should do more of it" or just open with, "Welcome to Satins lair".

But no, I always play the Pius student for some reason, willing to take whatever they want, even read along in their bible...

But, their take yesterday was "get to know the God that punishes us". Ok, that was not their take so much as a thumbnail of it, it was more "why bad things happen". They (or we) read a passage from Mark about it was not God doing these bad things...

Then, I decide enough is enough. They want to come to my door and talk about faith, then so be it.

"Doesn't that mean that God is not omnipotent?" I ask.

Wide eyes and dropped jaws are my response. I suspect most people just appease them and send them on their way. Not the Melon. I want answers from these folks pretending to have them. (that is probably too cruel. I should say, folks having the faith to believe they have the answers; that is not right either. Maybe it is fair to say, these people have faith One has the answers and that is good with them).

So, back to the conversation. "My logic is if God is not doing these things, he is allowing them and is thereby complicit in the act." (ouch huh?). This is essentially what I have built my theological stance on. They come back with, "all the answers are in the Bible". I chime in that the bible is a collection of stories written by fallible men. "It is the word of God". "But God wouldn't make punctuation mistakes", we go round and round.

Finally, and this is the best part, I get the brush off from the door-to-door Mormons. They are brushing me off. I get, "After you have a chance to read our information, we can discuss it..." As they turn to leave, I feel rejected.

Fantastic. I've probably been black-balled from the door to door union now...