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Idiotic Toys my Wife Made Me Buy...

Here it is, the "A" List of stupid things my darling wife made me buy this year for the kids. The toys go against everything I believe in, but in the spirit of Xmas and according to Mel, "it is what they want."

  1. Hanna Montana CD - Oh dear God. If you loathed the Cheetah Girls, you'll hate this too... Yes, the Disney hit TV show featuring a girl living a double life as a pop star and a country girl. I think purchasing this music ought to be in the book of Revalations. I am expecting some trumpeters any time now... I can't wait to yell, "turn that racket down!"...just like my Dad did. I can't even believe I downloaded this...





  1. Yeah, forget the numbering system, this could easily have been first too. Moon Sand. Have you seen the TV ads or are you wise enough to stay off the Disney channel??? Yes, here is Moon Sand, because the Earth Sand is so 1997...
Anyhow, you can mold this stuff into fun shapes like clay. But it is sand. Another one of those, "they make it look so easy to make fun and interesting things on tv" but is impossible to work with. Like Legos.


  1. I thought I said ignore the numbering system? Anyhow, #1 on the list (or #3 if you are stickler for details), more ties for Ian. I am ready to do a search on abnormal behaviors and see where ties to preschool ranks. What is up with this? He's been to school 3 days this week and each with a tie on. Maybe the Fresh Prince had it right when his Mom incorrectly said, "you go to school to learn not for a fashion show."
Bonus points for anyone who knows the whereabouts of DJ Jazzy Jeff these days...



  1. Finally, #1 on the list... More horse books for Reagan. Ok, she likes horses, I get that. I know she wants one, but buying them only seems to rub it in for her or add fire to the flames that undoubtedly land on my shoulders to say, "no". It is not the 1800s, I think horses have outlived their usefulness.






  1. Which reminds me of the real #1: Hair-Braider-Spinny-Thing that braids hair apparently. I think it may bead it as well. Fantastic. I can sit here now and ponder the countless hours I'll be untangling her hair before the bus comes. Then, I'll be forced to ride the bus with her while I continue untangling (cause she will try this 2 min. before the bus arrives) and the tears will pour and I'll try to help. So I'll be the oldest guy on the bus dodging spitballs from Jimmy (who rides the backseat of course). Fantastic. Why does my little girl need breads or beads??? It is beyond me.




A truly merry Xmas, no doubt.

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