How to drive stick; in France; stuck at a toll booth; with signs you don't understand...

I am not a big fan of the French language. It is hard on my ears, I can't make out any of the words and I can't fake it.

So there I am driving this beaut of a rental car when we come upon a toll booth with four options for lanes. There is some kind of easy pass deal; I can make that out. There is some kind of ticket, which I picked up a while back at an earlier toll booth. There is something I can't make heads or tails of and the operator booth.

Somehow the ticket lane looks best. From what I can make of it now, it means you buy a ticket with money on it and slowly deplete what you have on it and then recharge it. Like a subway ticket. I know this now.

Then, I didn't. I put in my ticket then noticed a slot for the other. Since I didn't have one I push the help button. Nothing. I push it again, nothing. Help must mean something else in France like, "hit this button so we can film the American Idiot stuck at our toll booth, ohh ohh ohhn." I figure I am infamous in France by now... I am just waiting for the incident to show up on youtube...

Ok, so there I am with a car behind me, can't go forward so I give the international symbol for "I messed this up very badly" and get him off my tail. Now for reverse.

Turns out I should have tried this before we took off. I try for reverse and the car edges forward. Closer to the wooden gate thing that stays down despite my Jedi stare. I try again. Edge forward again. I think ok, Mercedes, German, try like the VW. Edge forward again. Now I am almost touching the gate. This repeats about 4 more times.

Finally I get it (I am drenched in sweat by now). And back I go, damn the two point summons... Get over the operator booth, where the women speaks only French. Trying to sign, "the &#*#$& machine ate my &@#$& ticket over there" is harder than you might think. So I just sat back until she charged me something so I could leave. I peeled out. I suspect she is still laughing at me...

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