Skip to main content

Sorry Ms. Cleo...

Here is the fortune from a Chinese lunch I had a couple of weeks ago: "only listen the the fortune cookie; disregard all other fortune telling units."

How many other fortune telling units are there? Does the fortune cookie really see the psychic friends network as a threat? Really? How about "Zoltar Speaks" from the movie, Big that turns kid Tom Hanks into adult?

I hesitate in showing you my lucky numbers, mostly cause I am cheap and not into splitting the pot, so don't play these numbers.

Do you think a bunch of people sit around a table chain smoking and coming up with these fortunes?? What do you think they eat while they do this? Chinese food? Do you think they have funny ones? Cause really, this is about the funniest I've seen. I could write funny ones, like:
  • "Oh no, this is fortune #2 from cookie; you ate #1."
  • "Your Chinese food contained no cats. At least, that we know of."
  • "Man who eat Chinese food soon look like Sumo."
  • "To become wealthy, be the one who writes others fortunes. Sucker."
  • "Those who insist adding "in bed" after fortunes, have mind a gutter. Life will follow."
  • "Those who master chopsticks are showoffs."
Ok, maybe it is harder than it looks.

I think if they put fortunes in apples, I'd eat more of them. Same goes for oranges, grapefruit, watermelon, really any fruit. Perhaps even veggies. Except brussel sprouts (they should all be deported back to Brussels. yeck.). I mean, the cereal industry figured this out years ago, a toy inside sells anything. You'd think fruit farmers would figure this out. Anyone want to go into Fortune Fruit, llc. with me?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am guessing that you are too cool and hip to watch the show Men in Trees, however, last night they did a bit on the fortune cookie. Good timimg ... Do you write for that show?

Noj nOj noJ
2:25 PM
The Big Melon said…
Dear founding member of the Tri-Noj fraternity, Men have taken this long to evolve enough to come down out of trees. Now you wish to watch us back in them?

Nope. I am way too cool watching the OC or one tree hill or 90210...
2:46 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ian goes Punk

It, of course is my fault. You could say that about most anything. But this, this is pure genius. Yesterday, he and I were headed to get haircuts. He says, "what kind of haircut are you getting Daddy?". I give my stock answer, "mohawk". He giggles and says, "me too, we'll be twins." He is smiling ear to ear. Next comes the part where I carefully extract myself from getting said mohawk. He says, "i don't care I am getting a mohawk." I saw ok thinking Mel will never allow. She says ok.
1 comment
Read more

Five minute update

Sorry, 5 is all you get today...ok at least for now. Here are the top stories from the past week: Thanksgiving. What happens when you don't see family and don't eat Turkey? Not so bad, sorry family. We had a blast watching the parade in NYC, it was a beautiful warm day. The kids and mostly Mel enjoyed the floats and balloons. We'll be back next year. You can see a slide show of the images mel took, far too many up to the right -----> Best quote at a concert, Best thing to happen to my brother in front of me, "Sir, would you buy me a beer?" -underage girl at State Radio Concert. Probably the last 18 and older show we go to. Save the security team, we were the oldest folks there... And FYI, Rob didn't buy her one, what a good guy. Then we talked about if we'll still come to these concerts if Reagan happens to go to the same one... We decided she isn't leaving the house watching some young girl crowd surf... Prickly Pear is out of the water....
Post a Comment
Read more