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Now Accepting Applications for Fall '06

As Provost of BMU (Big Melon University), I cordially invite you to apply for Fall addmission. BMU boasts a top-notch education in things that will make you stand out upon graduation from your other competitors. With classes like:
  • Zen, and the art of bicycle maintenence
  • Photoshop and the art of deception
  • English 101, smarmy come-backs
  • Lying 403, how to make up stuff to cover your lack of actual knowledge
  • Sailing, and the science of taking actaul depth soundings
  • Husbandry, how to make it seem like you are listening
  • Spanish 305, All you need to know unless professors are reading...
  • Getting back at the man, or at least getting mad at him. (guest lecturer, my Dad). (also taught as "Keep people away with crazy ranting 205"
BMU was created on the philosophy, if you can't afford college, make one up. ($50k per year for a good college?). Both of our instructors hold years of psychological issues and specialize at work avoidance.

You will find our athletic teams to be amoung the finest, not at the given sport but at insulting the other team into submission. (sidenote, I used to play this guy in Tennis during college, I just even asked how is ex girlfriend did and it was game over. His name was Blake).

So, reserve your space now, operators are standing by!

Comments

Anonymous said…
You left out the Greek Life. Doesn't BMU have the largest chapter of Tri-NOJ?
10:48 AM
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