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News on Monday

Good day. Welcome to our weekly news report. Really? Weekly? Ok, really just gonna see how this goes. If any reports of gut-busting or peed-pants, it might be weekly...

Here are our top stories:

Kids float. Right?
Yes, it is full-on swim class time here. Both are in classes and mustering all the might to stay afloat. But perhaps more interesting the mass of parents waiting/watching while the kids are swimming. Me? I sit and read Mel's book while listening to my ipod, looking as unapproachable as possible.

Why? Three examples:
1. I could jockey for viewing position with the 17 other moms and dads (mel was one of them) through the 4"x3" window. A lot of pushing and shoving...plus, Mel gave me updates.
2. Overheard: "So how is wired? Well there are two red cables tied into the splicer that goes back to the ground" (or some bs. like that. ..I don't speak electric...).
3. "So how are the kids? Enjoying school? Great great." I despise small talk. I find most parents have real issues that get passed to their kids. It makes me cringe and I high-five Mel later cause "we are so much better parents than them"...(read that tongue in cheek, cause that is how I say it)...and in truth mel shakes her head and leaves my high-five hanging...


In other news, immigrants have taken residence at our house. Migrant workers? Squatters? Household help? If you've suggestions on how to make your kids do any of the above, please let us know...




House officials met yesterday to implement a new design to the living room. Several key decision makers attending the ceremony resulting in several variations being explored. The push to make the area more attractive to out-of-state drivers resulted in the coffee table being rotated 90 deg. Mel still isn't happy.

A quick look at the weather shows it is 82 degrees and sunny in Bora Bora.

And finally, I had the pleasure of checking in with the old man for the latest rant in "Old Man's Gripes with the world". Today's thought: "Fox News is the end-all be-all of news." (Heartrate (HR)check: 60). "I am telling you, it is the most-watched show in America." My brother and I rebut, "no way" (HR now reaching 120). "All other media are liberal, Fox is the only good voice in America" (HR near peaking at 140, eyes starting to bulge). So being the good sons, we press on, "Dad, there is no way Fox is #1 & O'Reilly is a perv (Mel adds in). This winds the old mans clock for a good 20 minutes.

That is the news and my melon hurts. Goodnight.

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