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Stories for Mom and Dad (aka please watch these kids)

Ok, so there I was booking my business trip to CA and Vegas last week when boom, my computer was hacked into by some nefarious individuals (claiming to militant anarchists from Greenland). In the midst of their hacking they managed to add a trip for two to this place in the BVIs. Pretty odd. Thankfully my credit card company was able to switch the names on the reservations to mine and Melissa’s (whew!) but could not wipe the reservation out.

Now for the really odd part. We signed a contract to have our house bug-bombed during this time, we need to be out of the house anyway. We were planning on just crashing at Royces house (the neighbor), but now that has fallen apart. So I thought it be easier if only two of us has to stay at your house. And two of us would just camp out in the woods. So we picked the kids to stay with you while Mel and I camp in the woods. cause we care about them the most. So, since the hacking that took place, we’ll just go on the vacation that we were forced into and keep to our plans to have the kids at your house.

No?

How about I got an email from this guy in Nigeria that needs my help. He says his war-torn country is against him and his families fortune and says I can help. He seems real sincere and we talked for what seemed like hours. We are like peas and carrots. We both like the same music and movies; he just seems to like everything I do. We really hit it off. We planned to meet at his house in the BVIs. It is more an humanitarian mission for me, cause I care for the people.

So we are going to meet and I will help him with his finances. While we are close and I feel like I’ve known him my whole life, I don’t want the kids to know their dad is this super hero…so can you watch them?

Ok, how about this:

Great news! Can you watch my kids while I improve myself not only for me, but for the kids. I just signed up for the fat-farm type boot camp to help me lose weight. They put you on an island and feed you only rum. I think it is really going to improve our lives, maybe not the liver…


And I am spent…

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