Word to your Mother

Moms are great. Moms are grand.
If it were my job, I'd be canned.

My gift to all Moms: this swanky tattoo I got this week. Pretty cool huh? I should work out more. Hurt like a mother...

Here is my Mothers Day top five things I apologize/am grateful for Moms:

5. They have to live with Dads. Well, I guess they don't, the divorce rate is up (or so I tell everyone...). Some Moms and Moms live together and that is cool. Certainly for a Mom to be great, she does not need to be defined by a Dad, didn't mean to infer that. Let's just reduce this to Some Moms have to live with Dads, and I am sorry about that.

4. Moms actually do everything. It is a darn wonder I make it out the door with underwear on most days, much less snacks for kids, both types of juice boxes, entertainment toys, pens, gum, lip balm. I am always bumming gum off my Mom in church. I think they ought to put in a vending machine in the pews. Lord knows nothing goes with prayer like Coca-Cola...

3. When my kids are hurt, they go straight for Moms open arms. There is just something about a mothers hug to make "everything all right". That or my kids don't like me...

2. You can blurt anything out to a mom. Really, you can say anything (oh, and I have). For us Dads, you must use the right words at the right times or you are going to get a whole lot of push-back. Things like, "Mom, I am changing majors" takes less than 2 seconds to say, but when I had to explain this to my dad, I had empirical formulas, bar charts, projected earning tallies, tire tracks, blood samples...but it wasn't enough and took, well I still haven't fully explained I am not an aviation major to him yet... Moms just seem to take it as it comes.

And the number 1 thing I apologize for/am grateful for me. (you knew it was all about me anyway...). Really. I've been, lets say lucky for the time being, to have had two moms (not even counting Melissa and/or Carmen (who treats me like a son, I am like the son she never had that can throw a football - sorry Keith). And without Moms, all of them, I'd probably still be living with 2 other guys, smelly bathroom, trolling the local high school for dates, working the drive thru at McDonalds...Not that there is anything wrong with that... Moms rule. At least until Fathers Day...

Comments

todays survey

Since you all have done so well with the past two surveys I've taken ( another shirt slogan for Dad and do you get full eating salad or just bored ), here is another: If you eat, say, a bag full of fortune cookies - and I am not saying I have - do they all come true or just a first/last rule? Do they all negate if you eat more than one? Anyone? Bueller?

And now we are One!!!!

Who would have thought: you would keep reading after day 3? I would keep writing after day 2? (see http://robertwmason.blogspot.com/ for reference) that you would get anything out of this? that I would get anything out of this? that I would make 250 posts into this thing..? And "get" I did. Last month, I signed my first contract for a writing position (in my free time) with a Rhode Island magazine. I used many excerpts from my blog as samples and they dug it, enough to want to pay me. I am very excited about that. A big thank you to all of you that keep reading that misadventures of my family, friends and I. The journey thus far has been fun and giving you a bird-eye view into our lives is weirdly fun. At first it was like walking around naked, now I am a full fledged nudist; so to speak. In looking back over the first year, I live like a king. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of reflection to see how good you've got it. Usually this hits me on business trips and ...

How I'll probably die

My new thing has gotten me running, yes running, the past week without complaint and without watching the clock. Unfortunately, the high-risk fringe sport will probably have Ian find me at the end of the treadmill runway, twisted, with a guitar slung from my neck. What is it you ask? Some kind of Mariachi Marathon? Close. Running while playing Guitar Hero is the greatest thing since running with my buddy Jeff. Come to think of it, that really was just running with someone calling you, "fatty" the whole time, but I digress. Running while jamming on guitar trying desperately to keep up with great hits like "American Women" and the surprisingly fitting, "Band on the run". See what I did there? Anyhow, it is freaking amazing. No longer are my eyes glued to the maddening clock. No longer am looking at data (which I seem to hate when it is counting my exercise), I am playing a game. I am a Rock God when I run. Now, I know what you are thinking. Being a...

Thoughts from the Big Melon

Search This Blog